It's time for the first post-Royal Rumble Raw. Word is that Vince had the writers meeting again today to rewrite tonight's episode. We might be in for something special or we might be in or another disappointment. Let's see where things go.
Show starts with some photos from last night's matches. Stephanie and Triple H are out. They even get the first Wrestlemania sign point of the night. Crowd chanting "Yes!" immediately when Stephanie starts to talk. Triple is taunting the crowd for being upset that they didn't get what they wanted.
Big announcement: Orton has to defend his title in the Elimination Chamber. Before anything else can be said, out comes Daniel Bryan. The crowd is going nuts. Daniel Bryan tells the crowd to not "Yes!" or chant is name because it makes the authority mad. Bryan says that the biggest disappointment last night was not being in the Rumble. WWE knew the crowd was going to be behind Bryan in full effect and tailored the opening for that.
Bryan wants in the Elimination Chamber match, of course. He's standing right up to Triple H to get what he wants. Triple H won't be the only one he has to stand up to as the Shield are coming out on cue. Bryan grabs a chair to fend them off, but he can't keep all three away. Sheamus' music hits and he runs down to the ring. Cena's out next to make it three-on-tree. Six man with these guys tonight? Yes, please.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. & Sin Cara vs. Real Americans
Announcers let us know that all six men from the brawl will be in an Elimination Chamber qualifier. Zeb out with a mic for the Real Americans' opening. Cesaro and Rey start in the ring and it's everything I dreamed it to be for the 10 seconds it lasts. Jack gets tossed outside of the ring at one point and Zeb starts to berate him. He slaps Jack and Swagger wants to get at Zeb for a second, but Cesaro holds him back. Swagger's got a new fire once he gets back in the ring. Him and Zeb are yelling at each other as we go to break.
The cameras keep showing Zeb on the outside. He's yelling at Cesaro when he gets dumped to the outside, though it's inaudible. Cesaro does an unexpectedly poor job getting set up for the six one night, but the match doesn't end there, luckily. Sin Cara springboards off the ropes and eats a big European uppercut. Cesaro hits the neutralizer and this one is over.
Match rating: **1/2
Cole clarifies that it is a six man tonight and the winning team gets all three members in the Elimination Chamber. There's also going to be a New Age Outlaws vs. Rhodes Brothers rematch tonight.
Bad News Barrett out to deliver us some uhh... bad news. He's actually getting a bit of heat too. Barrett announces Miz vs. Ziggler in the "battle of Cleveland."
Sneak peek of some WWE Network content. Its' a clip of Monday Night War: WWE vs. WCW.
Fandago entering with Summer Rae. The crowd's a lot less into him tonight than last night. And we're back to commercial in the middle of his entrance.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
A clean shaven Xavier Woods is on commentary. Emma is down at ringside with her sign, so the build for her debut continues. Woods is talking about his PhD while JBL puts East Carolina over as the Harvard of the south. Har har, wonder who went there. R-Truth wins an uneventful in-ring match.
Match rating: *
Brad Maddox in the ring to introduce our WWE World Heavyweight champion, Randy Orton. Orton wants to know whose idea it was to have him defend his championship in the Elimination Chamber. Batista interrupts him as he starts to rant about being the face of the WWE. The crowd's pretty dead.
Cleveland's chanting "Daniel Bryan" while Batista tries to talk. He's back to win the Royal Rumble, headline Wrestlemania, and walk out as champ. It's not personal who he faces; Dave's here for those goals. Big Dave finishes his spiel just in time for Brock Lesnar to interrupt. Him and Heyman come on down to the ring as Batista and Orton give him death glares.
Lesnar's patience is running thin. Maddox has two options: either make a match tonight between Orton and Brock Lesnar or put the number one contenders against each other. Batista vs. Brock. Paul Heyman likes both ideas, but he'll let the authority make the decision. Brock leaves without saying a word, just as it should be.
Battle of Cleveland - The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
How will the WWE make both of these guys lose? Crowd's making some noise for their hometown heroes while the announcers rip on Cleveland and Ohio. Miz locks on his figure four and Dolph is screaming like it's the most painful thing ever. He's taking big bites of the scenery right now. JBL and Cole are BURYING Cleveland. Ziggler zigzags Miz for a win. No ambush or home town embarrassment for Ziggler, surprisingly.
Match rating: *
Rybaxel vs. The Usos
Rybaxel get the jobber entrance tonight. Ryback and Axel take turns beating on Jey. Ryback gets Jimmy up for the shellshock later but Jey gets a blind tag in. Jey superkicks Ryback, tags back out, and Jimmy lands a frog splash to wrap this one up.
Match rating: *. Forgettable but unoffensive. I liked the ending sequences.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto del Rio
WWE shows a highlight of Kofi leaping from the barrier to the ring from last night. It was a hell of a jump and a cool spot, much better than last year. Del Rio stiffs Kofi pretty hard with a kick to the face when he's in the corner and Kofi is charging in. Crowd is dead silent for this. It's a buzzkill when a crowd is so off. Del Rio and Kofi aren't over anywhere, but it's really pronounced tonight. Some of the crowd starts to chant "JBL." They pop big when JBL sits up and del Rio screams "sit your ass down!" at him. Del Rio looked legitimately pissed.
The crowd's finally making noise, but it's for Lawler now. The match itself is a dull affair that I'm having a hard time pay attention to. The crowd finally gets behind Kofi as he goes on a run. Del Rio tries to walk out of the ring but Kofi catches him and hits an SOS. ADR gets his foot on the rope just in time to break the three count.
Del Rio wins with his sidekick to a kneeling Kofi.
Match rating: DUD. Long and boring.
WWE Tag Team Championship - New Age Outlaws (C) vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Road Dogg with a promo before the match. This I can do without. And it just keeps going. Dogg and Gunn saying they shouldn't have to defend their titles tonight. Goldust continues to be a damn fine worker, the best in the match, as he starts us off against Billy Gunn.
NAO acting like they're in over their heads. Not just that, but they act like they're afraid of the Rhodes brothers. Road Dogg's channeling Markus Crane tonight. JBL's doing that thing where he argues with everything Cole says. It's brutal.
Gunn's in control of Goldust when we get back from break. A Goldust powerslam changes that. Both guys are down but Goldust is a lot further from his corner. Goldust'll hit a code red before he gets the hot tag to Cody. Without any warning, we get Brock Lesnar coming down. He F5s Cody. The New Age Outlaws make a run for it while Brock F5s Goldust.
Match rating: About a *1/2 effort.
Paul says the choice we're getting is Brock Lesnar versus no one. What happens when Brock Lesnar does not get what he wants? He beats the hell out of people with a chair. He breaks the damn thing from hitting the Rhodes so hard. This is a scary guy. Of course Cleveland is dead silent.
Bella Twins and Funkadactyls vs. Aksana, Tamina, AJ Lee, and Alicia Fox
Brie annoys the hell out of me in the ring. She's actually become a pretty good worker, but I can't stand how loud she is. I guess when you're a vet you get to make that call. Aksana completely whiffs on an elbow drop. She does it again, but the second one was on purpose. Cole puts Nikki's shin injury over as super serious.
The divas take a spot from WrestleKingdom 8 (and nowhere else ever). No doubt they were up at 5AM scouting some moves. Naomi flattens AJ with her rear end to mercifully end this.
Match rating: 1/2*
Jerry Lawler's in the ring to announce the next WWE Hall of Famer. It's Jake the Snake! No Rumble appearance, but he gets this.
Next is another WWE Network promo. This time it's about Wrestlemania Rewind. They're pushing the network pretty hard, which I get. Meltzer's mentioned that they have a lot of stuff in the can for the network and given how Bryan had short hear and a close-trimmed beard there's no doubt about that.
John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield
And we've finally got some noise from the WWE crowd as the main event starts. It starts out with Cena and Ambrose, but Rollins tags in soon. Cena bests him in a short exchange and now it's Reign's turn. Lots of quick tags and short exchanges to start the match. Looks like they want everyone to interact a little.
Sheamus lets Bryan tag in and the crowd goes wild for his kicks. Cena gets a lot of noise when he's back in there, eliciting the "Let's go Cena! Cena sucks!" duel. Roman lays Cena out with a superman punch but refuses to go for the pin. Instead he waits for Cena to get up and tries to spear him, but Cena eveades it and Reigns dives outside. He hurt his leg on the fall, but manages to cut Cena off before he can tag someone in.
Ambrose put Cena down with a hard DDT. Ambrose has an absolutely insane look on his face afterwards. Cena springs up and AAs Ambrose out of nowhere, because who needs selling? Cena gets the hot tag to Bryan and Bryan is cleaning house on the Shield. Reigns gets the spear on Sheamus and a second one on Cena (who took it poorly). Bryan knocks Reigns out of the ring and Rollins suprises Bryan with a roll up that's only good for two.
Rollins buckle bombs Bryan but again only gets two. He needed a spinning sit out powerbomb to finish the job. Bryan and Rollins are tearing it up in there. Rollins again goes for a roll up but Bryan twists out of it and gets on the yes lock. Ambrose breaks up the pin and Sheamus brogue kicks him out of nowhere. The match picked up in a big, big way.
Cena' outside and waiting for a tag. Bryan gets to him and it's Cena vs. Reigns now. Cena trips Reigns and gets the STF. Reigns pulls Cena's arms apart to get out of the hold when the Wyatts make their ambush. They're attacking Cena, but Sheamus and Bryan make the save. Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, and Cena win via DQ and they're going to be in the elimination chamber.
Match rating: ***1/2. A proper finish would've put this in the ****+ range in my book.
Final thoughts
A good opening segment and first match bookend a boring Raw in tandem with the closing match. Disappointed at the finish of the match, especially because of the stipulation attached, but the ring work was on.
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