JBL is coming for Rey's title. I have no clue who won this match, but I don't remember JBL getting a second reign off of Rey at the time, so I can guess. But the ending itself will be a surprise. Rey never has bad matches as far as I'm concerned. JBL is really hit or miss: some gems and a lot of duds. Let's get to it.
World Heavyweight Championship - Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
JBL towers over Rey. Everyone towers over Rey, but it looks like a man and his son. His masked, tattooed son. Rey tries to stand up to JBL. JBL shoves him down time and time again. JBL starts the beatdown on Rey early on. Rey trips JBL to set up a 619. JBL rolls out of the ring to escape. Rey quickly establishes that high flying offense is his way to hurt JBL.
Rey baseball slides into JBL as JBL sits in the corner. JBL is selling it like a gunshot. As well he should, that would hurt like hell. The ref admonishes Rey while JBL crawls around in pain. Rey dropkicks JBL out of the ring. For a little guy, his offense is really good. It actually looks like it could hurt the giant he's up against. JBL throws Rey headfirst into the steel steps. He bludgeons Rey with his big hands and boots, taking it to him inside and out of the ring. He slams Rey's head into the steel steps again. JBL rolls Rey back in the ring and gets a two count.
JBL suplexes Rey. Slow, deliberate twist of the hips. Second suplex. And a third, a wonderful homage to Eddy Guerrero's three amigos. And a great little taunt after too. Rey's bleeding. JBL drags Rey to the barricade at ringside, right in front of Rey's wife so she can see the ass kicking up close and in person. JBL tosses Rey with a fallaway slam on the mats, then brings Rey back into the ring for a two count.
Three clotheslines flatten Rey. JBL pulls Rey around like a ragdoll. Blood stains Rey's snow white mask. JBL boots Rey down almost the moment he gets back to his feet. Rey catches one of JBL's punches and counters with a few of his own. JBL cuts him off with an eye rake and then a sleeper. He pounds on Rey's head and drains the life from him until Rey is down on the mat. The ref is about to drop Rey's hand down for the third time when JBL lets go. He wants to embarrass Rey, so he goes for the pin. Rey kicks out at two. JBL props Rey up on the top turnbuckle. Rey fights his way out of a super backdrop. Hard fists drop JBL to the mat. Picture perfect moonsault onto JBL.
Rey takes control. He kicks JBL in the side of the head in Daniel Bryanian fashion. Two count. JBL scoots into the corner. Rey charges and tries to splash JBL. JBL gets a boot up! That boot impales Rey, right in the crotch too. JBL hauls Rey up and signals that it's powerbomb time. Rey punches his way out and hurricanrana's JBL onto the ropes. 619 time. Rey springboards up for the next hirricanrana, but JBL pulls the ref in the way. JBL grabs Rey and powerbombs him with all his might. He signals for another ref. Out he comes for the count. Only two! A disgusted JBL socks the ref, knocking him out cold. Lil Naitch bumps beautifully on that hard right.
JBL goes to get a chair. He charges Rey, who gets his boots up on time to crash that chair into JBL's skull. JBL flops over. Rey pops up to the top rope. Five star frog splash. Three count!
Match Rating: ****1/2. I really have no complaints or negatives here. Maybe the commentary was bad or the crowd was dead, but in full disclosure I watched this with the sound off. JBL was superb as this big giant prick who wants to kick the crap out of Rey to prove a point. His mannerisms and facials were top notch, so were his reactions like when he KOd Charles Robinson after getting only a two count. Rey got so much sympathy as the underdog. It's easy to root for the brave little guy over the big mean bully, but I have to commend Rey's efforts. Rey's offense looked stellar. Everything he did, from the punches to the drop kicks and splashes, was smooth and looked like it would actually hurt JBL. But this wasn't KENTA vs. Takayama where the little man was trying to outstrike the bigger man. This was him using his every opening and capitalizing on them.
Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts
Feb 11, 2014
Match Review: Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro - Jun 14, 2013
Antonio Cesaro's stock rose more than anyone's this past monday. Sure, Daniel Bryan arguably got the most attention. Cena and Orton got the main event. But Cesaro got time to shine and the hot Staples Center crowd was into him like a guy much higher on the card. Sheamus and Cesaro showed great chemistry as tag opponents that night, but that has a precedent. Sheamus, despite his obvious character flaws, knows how to make an opponent look like a million bucks. Put them together and you've got a fine match up. Let's go back to their June encounter.
Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro
Damien Sandow delays this match so he can continue a story line that I don't much care to remember. Now that that's over, we can get to the wrestling. Collar-and-elbow tie up. Cesaro European uppercuts Sheamus on the break. He forces Sheamus into the corner and slaps him across the face. Sheamus is pissed. He charges Cesaro, who has to roll out of the ring to avoid the Irishman's wrath. Cesaro narrowly avoids a kick through the ropes. He got a bit too close to the ring and Sheamus couldn't wait to get at him.
Sheamus works over Cesaro's abs. He tries for a suplex but that's a no go. Cesaro gets Sheamus down with a waistlock, rotates on top of him, and gets back to his feet. Cesaro pulls Sheamus off the ground with a Karelin lift. That's freaky strength. Sheamus takes a clothesline that puts him over the top and outside.
Cesaro sizes Sheamus up and tries a crossbody. Sheamus catches Cesaro and throws him into the boards with a fall away slam. Commercial break. They're brawling in the ring once we're back. Sheamus drops Cesaro over his knee with a backbreaker. The two step outside again like they're in an ROH match. Cesaro bullrushes Sheamus, tackling him into the steel steps. Cesaro rolls Sheamus into the ring so he can go for a pin. One count.
Cesaro headlocks Sheamus, lifts him off his feet, and spins him around until a toss breaks the hold. It's no giant spin, but that was a feat in and of itself. Sheamus hits two ax handles on Cesaro. He hits the ropes again, but Cesaro gets back at him with a hard clothesline. Two count this time. Cesaro and Sheamus keep wailing away. Sheamus gets his signature chest-thump spot in. He picks Cesaro up over the ropes and slams him down with a backbreaker, but this time Cesaro kicks out at two.
Cesaro and Sheamus continue to clobber each other. Cesaro shoves Sheamus into the corner. He charges, Sheamus pops his leg up and lands a perfectly timed counter Brogue kick to Cesaro's jaw. Cesaro falls back, Sheamus covers, and it's over. Sheamus wins.
Match Rating: ****1/2 Great match. The only thing that keeps it from a higher rating is that it's short and a commercial break cuts it even shorter. Execution and storytelling get five stars, but the total presentation is just a little lacking. Such is life on Main Event. Sheamus and Cesaro are a dream match up. Both are willing (and able) to sell so that the other guy looks like a destroyer. Both have offenses that make them look like powerhouses. That makes for a great match.
Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro
Damien Sandow delays this match so he can continue a story line that I don't much care to remember. Now that that's over, we can get to the wrestling. Collar-and-elbow tie up. Cesaro European uppercuts Sheamus on the break. He forces Sheamus into the corner and slaps him across the face. Sheamus is pissed. He charges Cesaro, who has to roll out of the ring to avoid the Irishman's wrath. Cesaro narrowly avoids a kick through the ropes. He got a bit too close to the ring and Sheamus couldn't wait to get at him.
Sheamus works over Cesaro's abs. He tries for a suplex but that's a no go. Cesaro gets Sheamus down with a waistlock, rotates on top of him, and gets back to his feet. Cesaro pulls Sheamus off the ground with a Karelin lift. That's freaky strength. Sheamus takes a clothesline that puts him over the top and outside.
Cesaro sizes Sheamus up and tries a crossbody. Sheamus catches Cesaro and throws him into the boards with a fall away slam. Commercial break. They're brawling in the ring once we're back. Sheamus drops Cesaro over his knee with a backbreaker. The two step outside again like they're in an ROH match. Cesaro bullrushes Sheamus, tackling him into the steel steps. Cesaro rolls Sheamus into the ring so he can go for a pin. One count.
Cesaro headlocks Sheamus, lifts him off his feet, and spins him around until a toss breaks the hold. It's no giant spin, but that was a feat in and of itself. Sheamus hits two ax handles on Cesaro. He hits the ropes again, but Cesaro gets back at him with a hard clothesline. Two count this time. Cesaro and Sheamus keep wailing away. Sheamus gets his signature chest-thump spot in. He picks Cesaro up over the ropes and slams him down with a backbreaker, but this time Cesaro kicks out at two.
Cesaro and Sheamus continue to clobber each other. Cesaro shoves Sheamus into the corner. He charges, Sheamus pops his leg up and lands a perfectly timed counter Brogue kick to Cesaro's jaw. Cesaro falls back, Sheamus covers, and it's over. Sheamus wins.
Match Rating: ****1/2 Great match. The only thing that keeps it from a higher rating is that it's short and a commercial break cuts it even shorter. Execution and storytelling get five stars, but the total presentation is just a little lacking. Such is life on Main Event. Sheamus and Cesaro are a dream match up. Both are willing (and able) to sell so that the other guy looks like a destroyer. Both have offenses that make them look like powerhouses. That makes for a great match.
Feb 8, 2014
Match Review: Smackdown 41-man Battle Royal - Oct 14, 2011
I searched "WWE match" on youtube and this was the first result. I guess Smackdown battle royals from two years ago are what the WWE really want to push on youtube. Works for me, I friggin' love battle royals. Also, it's battle royals, not battles royal. Don't be that guy. Let's do this.
Smackdown 41-Man Battle Royal
Winner receives the right to a title shot of their choosing that same evening. I'll bet some idiot goes for the IC title. The match description says this the biggest battle royal in WWE history, so we're in for a real treat.
Then intercontinental champion Cody Rhodes comes out with his belt on, so I'm wrong. There are some conspicuous gaps in the line when the superstars walk out. Notably, Orton comes out last and about 10 feet away from anyone else. All 41 guys jam themselves in there. The bell rings and the brawling commences. Way too much going on to call the action with any effect. Somebody dumps masked Cody Rhodes to the outside a few seconds in, making him elimination numero uno.
Johnny Curtis goes out second. This is during the heel Michael Cole commentator era, so enjoy that if you watch. JTG falls out, never to be seen again. Michael McGuillicutty, Derek Bateman, and Titus O'Neal follow soon after. There's a Yoshi Tatsu sighting. Matt Striker takes a hard bump and hits his head on the mat outside. The ring's slowly thinning out when a commercial break gives us a reprieve.
William Regal steps onto the outside with the grace of a fine British gentleman. Percy Watson is out too. Morrison and Ziggler come next, ridding the ring of our mid-sized athletic guy contingent. Trent Baretta takes the craziest looking bump yet when he front flips over the rope, lands on his feet, then face plants. An Uso goes out, glad it's not just me who can't tell them apart that quickly as the commentators never specify which it is. At this point the wrestlers actually have some room to move around. Ezekiel Jackson dumping Ted DiBiase over the top helps. Booker T hypes out how great Drew McIntyre looks tonight. Some indy geek falls out and the camera barely catches it. He'll never matter anyhow.
Tyler Reks and Curtis Hawkins go flying out of the ring thanks to Mason Ryan. Drew McIntyre doesn't live up to the hype, he's out next. Mason Ryan press slams Justin Gabriel, only for someone to jump him from behind and casually tilt him over the top rope. It's a clean-shaven Wade Barrett. So much for British pride. CM Punk high kicks Primo when Primo was on the apron, so he's out. Christian almost eliminates Santino, but Santino pulls himself back up onto the apron. He starts getting the cobra ready when Christian pops him in the jaw and sends him packing.
Miz eliminates Alex Riley by pulling down the top rope as Riley charges. Kofi Kingston skins the cat to stay alive, grabs Swagger with his legs, but can't get the elimination on Swagger. Swagger gets an ankle lock on Kofi, who is still clutching the top rope and dangling upside down. A Jack Swagger boot ends that little showdown. Ryder goes out without much ceremony. Sheamus grabs Otunga and then the other Uso by the back of the neck and throws each over the top rope within a few seconds of the other. He really should go for that more often.
Ezekiel Jackson wants to get the jump on Sheamus. Sheamus isn't having it and fights his way off of Jackson's shoulders then clotheslines Jackson over the top. Sheamus stands tall in the middle of the ring while everyone else slouches in the corner or lays on the ground. Heath Slater almost meets the same fate as Otunga and Uso #2, but he manages to hang onto the top rope. Sheamus brogue kicks him for the insolence, leaving us with only ten men left.
CM Punk uses his tried and true "lay on the mat and hope no one notices me" method to great success. Sheamus continues his dominant run when he powerbombs Sin Cara Negro over the top and into Ezekiel Jackson and two others, who manage to break his fall. Christian lines up Sheamus from the corner. He sprints at the Irishman, looking for the diving hug, but Sheamus knees him in the face. Sheamus hoists Christian up on his shoulder. Christian escapes before he gets too near the ropes, then tries to push Sheamus over the top. Sheamus blocks a punch, puts his hand behind Christian's neck, and throws him over the top rope. See, it's that easy.
Pre-3MB Jinder Mahal is still in there, working over Sheamus. CM Punk dumps R-Truth, Miz eliminates Punk immediately after that. Miz eats a brogue kick and rolls out of the ring, under the bottom rope. The commentators mention that he is not eliminated, but I'm sure that won't come back into play. Punk and R-Truth keep on brawling outside, distracting the camera man from seeing Christian eliminate Sheamus. Sheamus gets right back in there and starts chasing him around, inside and then outside of the ring. Christian makes a run for it, all the way up the ramp and to the back. Orton eliminates Wade Barrett and immediately RKOs Jack Swagger after that. Swagger goes out next. Jinder eats an RKO and Randy dumps him out, leaving nobody else standing.
But where's the bell? Nowhere yet, because the Miz is still in this. He sneaks back into the ring and throws Orton over the top rope. He celebrates his win prematurely. Orton is still alive. Miz puts the boots to Orton. Orton ducks a Miz clothesline and then power slams him, getting back in control. He does that mat slapping taunt but fails to deliver an RKO. Both guys end up on the apron. They square off while clutching the top rope. Punches fly as each backs up the other. Miz shoves Orton into the ring post, but it's not enough to end this. Orton boots Miz's gut and RKOs him onto the apron. Both men drop out, but Miz hits first. There's some confusion about who hit first, even though it looked pretty clear to me. Orton's the winner, so he faces Mark Henry later that night.
Match Rating: *. Even by Battle Royal standards this was pretty bad. It's almost sixteen minutes long and hits on plenty of the big tropes: eliminated guy eliminates a live contestant, the photo finish, the hide outside the ring and hope no one notices, etc. etc. It's no Wrestlemania 14 tag team battle royal, i.e., the gold standard of battle royals. Why is this the first result for "WWE match" on youtube? This wasn't even fun to watch. Here's, watch it, wallow in this with me:
Smackdown 41-Man Battle Royal
Winner receives the right to a title shot of their choosing that same evening. I'll bet some idiot goes for the IC title. The match description says this the biggest battle royal in WWE history, so we're in for a real treat.
Then intercontinental champion Cody Rhodes comes out with his belt on, so I'm wrong. There are some conspicuous gaps in the line when the superstars walk out. Notably, Orton comes out last and about 10 feet away from anyone else. All 41 guys jam themselves in there. The bell rings and the brawling commences. Way too much going on to call the action with any effect. Somebody dumps masked Cody Rhodes to the outside a few seconds in, making him elimination numero uno.
Johnny Curtis goes out second. This is during the heel Michael Cole commentator era, so enjoy that if you watch. JTG falls out, never to be seen again. Michael McGuillicutty, Derek Bateman, and Titus O'Neal follow soon after. There's a Yoshi Tatsu sighting. Matt Striker takes a hard bump and hits his head on the mat outside. The ring's slowly thinning out when a commercial break gives us a reprieve.
William Regal steps onto the outside with the grace of a fine British gentleman. Percy Watson is out too. Morrison and Ziggler come next, ridding the ring of our mid-sized athletic guy contingent. Trent Baretta takes the craziest looking bump yet when he front flips over the rope, lands on his feet, then face plants. An Uso goes out, glad it's not just me who can't tell them apart that quickly as the commentators never specify which it is. At this point the wrestlers actually have some room to move around. Ezekiel Jackson dumping Ted DiBiase over the top helps. Booker T hypes out how great Drew McIntyre looks tonight. Some indy geek falls out and the camera barely catches it. He'll never matter anyhow.
Tyler Reks and Curtis Hawkins go flying out of the ring thanks to Mason Ryan. Drew McIntyre doesn't live up to the hype, he's out next. Mason Ryan press slams Justin Gabriel, only for someone to jump him from behind and casually tilt him over the top rope. It's a clean-shaven Wade Barrett. So much for British pride. CM Punk high kicks Primo when Primo was on the apron, so he's out. Christian almost eliminates Santino, but Santino pulls himself back up onto the apron. He starts getting the cobra ready when Christian pops him in the jaw and sends him packing.
Miz eliminates Alex Riley by pulling down the top rope as Riley charges. Kofi Kingston skins the cat to stay alive, grabs Swagger with his legs, but can't get the elimination on Swagger. Swagger gets an ankle lock on Kofi, who is still clutching the top rope and dangling upside down. A Jack Swagger boot ends that little showdown. Ryder goes out without much ceremony. Sheamus grabs Otunga and then the other Uso by the back of the neck and throws each over the top rope within a few seconds of the other. He really should go for that more often.
Ezekiel Jackson wants to get the jump on Sheamus. Sheamus isn't having it and fights his way off of Jackson's shoulders then clotheslines Jackson over the top. Sheamus stands tall in the middle of the ring while everyone else slouches in the corner or lays on the ground. Heath Slater almost meets the same fate as Otunga and Uso #2, but he manages to hang onto the top rope. Sheamus brogue kicks him for the insolence, leaving us with only ten men left.
CM Punk uses his tried and true "lay on the mat and hope no one notices me" method to great success. Sheamus continues his dominant run when he powerbombs Sin Cara Negro over the top and into Ezekiel Jackson and two others, who manage to break his fall. Christian lines up Sheamus from the corner. He sprints at the Irishman, looking for the diving hug, but Sheamus knees him in the face. Sheamus hoists Christian up on his shoulder. Christian escapes before he gets too near the ropes, then tries to push Sheamus over the top. Sheamus blocks a punch, puts his hand behind Christian's neck, and throws him over the top rope. See, it's that easy.
Pre-3MB Jinder Mahal is still in there, working over Sheamus. CM Punk dumps R-Truth, Miz eliminates Punk immediately after that. Miz eats a brogue kick and rolls out of the ring, under the bottom rope. The commentators mention that he is not eliminated, but I'm sure that won't come back into play. Punk and R-Truth keep on brawling outside, distracting the camera man from seeing Christian eliminate Sheamus. Sheamus gets right back in there and starts chasing him around, inside and then outside of the ring. Christian makes a run for it, all the way up the ramp and to the back. Orton eliminates Wade Barrett and immediately RKOs Jack Swagger after that. Swagger goes out next. Jinder eats an RKO and Randy dumps him out, leaving nobody else standing.
But where's the bell? Nowhere yet, because the Miz is still in this. He sneaks back into the ring and throws Orton over the top rope. He celebrates his win prematurely. Orton is still alive. Miz puts the boots to Orton. Orton ducks a Miz clothesline and then power slams him, getting back in control. He does that mat slapping taunt but fails to deliver an RKO. Both guys end up on the apron. They square off while clutching the top rope. Punches fly as each backs up the other. Miz shoves Orton into the ring post, but it's not enough to end this. Orton boots Miz's gut and RKOs him onto the apron. Both men drop out, but Miz hits first. There's some confusion about who hit first, even though it looked pretty clear to me. Orton's the winner, so he faces Mark Henry later that night.
Match Rating: *. Even by Battle Royal standards this was pretty bad. It's almost sixteen minutes long and hits on plenty of the big tropes: eliminated guy eliminates a live contestant, the photo finish, the hide outside the ring and hope no one notices, etc. etc. It's no Wrestlemania 14 tag team battle royal, i.e., the gold standard of battle royals. Why is this the first result for "WWE match" on youtube? This wasn't even fun to watch. Here's, watch it, wallow in this with me:
Jan 27, 2014
WWE Raw 1/27 Show Report
It's time for the first post-Royal Rumble Raw. Word is that Vince had the writers meeting again today to rewrite tonight's episode. We might be in for something special or we might be in or another disappointment. Let's see where things go.
Show starts with some photos from last night's matches. Stephanie and Triple H are out. They even get the first Wrestlemania sign point of the night. Crowd chanting "Yes!" immediately when Stephanie starts to talk. Triple is taunting the crowd for being upset that they didn't get what they wanted.
Big announcement: Orton has to defend his title in the Elimination Chamber. Before anything else can be said, out comes Daniel Bryan. The crowd is going nuts. Daniel Bryan tells the crowd to not "Yes!" or chant is name because it makes the authority mad. Bryan says that the biggest disappointment last night was not being in the Rumble. WWE knew the crowd was going to be behind Bryan in full effect and tailored the opening for that.
Bryan wants in the Elimination Chamber match, of course. He's standing right up to Triple H to get what he wants. Triple H won't be the only one he has to stand up to as the Shield are coming out on cue. Bryan grabs a chair to fend them off, but he can't keep all three away. Sheamus' music hits and he runs down to the ring. Cena's out next to make it three-on-tree. Six man with these guys tonight? Yes, please.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. & Sin Cara vs. Real Americans
Announcers let us know that all six men from the brawl will be in an Elimination Chamber qualifier. Zeb out with a mic for the Real Americans' opening. Cesaro and Rey start in the ring and it's everything I dreamed it to be for the 10 seconds it lasts. Jack gets tossed outside of the ring at one point and Zeb starts to berate him. He slaps Jack and Swagger wants to get at Zeb for a second, but Cesaro holds him back. Swagger's got a new fire once he gets back in the ring. Him and Zeb are yelling at each other as we go to break.
The cameras keep showing Zeb on the outside. He's yelling at Cesaro when he gets dumped to the outside, though it's inaudible. Cesaro does an unexpectedly poor job getting set up for the six one night, but the match doesn't end there, luckily. Sin Cara springboards off the ropes and eats a big European uppercut. Cesaro hits the neutralizer and this one is over.
Match rating: **1/2
Cole clarifies that it is a six man tonight and the winning team gets all three members in the Elimination Chamber. There's also going to be a New Age Outlaws vs. Rhodes Brothers rematch tonight.
Bad News Barrett out to deliver us some uhh... bad news. He's actually getting a bit of heat too. Barrett announces Miz vs. Ziggler in the "battle of Cleveland."
Sneak peek of some WWE Network content. Its' a clip of Monday Night War: WWE vs. WCW.
Fandago entering with Summer Rae. The crowd's a lot less into him tonight than last night. And we're back to commercial in the middle of his entrance.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
A clean shaven Xavier Woods is on commentary. Emma is down at ringside with her sign, so the build for her debut continues. Woods is talking about his PhD while JBL puts East Carolina over as the Harvard of the south. Har har, wonder who went there. R-Truth wins an uneventful in-ring match.
Match rating: *
Brad Maddox in the ring to introduce our WWE World Heavyweight champion, Randy Orton. Orton wants to know whose idea it was to have him defend his championship in the Elimination Chamber. Batista interrupts him as he starts to rant about being the face of the WWE. The crowd's pretty dead.
Cleveland's chanting "Daniel Bryan" while Batista tries to talk. He's back to win the Royal Rumble, headline Wrestlemania, and walk out as champ. It's not personal who he faces; Dave's here for those goals. Big Dave finishes his spiel just in time for Brock Lesnar to interrupt. Him and Heyman come on down to the ring as Batista and Orton give him death glares.
Lesnar's patience is running thin. Maddox has two options: either make a match tonight between Orton and Brock Lesnar or put the number one contenders against each other. Batista vs. Brock. Paul Heyman likes both ideas, but he'll let the authority make the decision. Brock leaves without saying a word, just as it should be.
Battle of Cleveland - The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
How will the WWE make both of these guys lose? Crowd's making some noise for their hometown heroes while the announcers rip on Cleveland and Ohio. Miz locks on his figure four and Dolph is screaming like it's the most painful thing ever. He's taking big bites of the scenery right now. JBL and Cole are BURYING Cleveland. Ziggler zigzags Miz for a win. No ambush or home town embarrassment for Ziggler, surprisingly.
Match rating: *
Rybaxel vs. The Usos
Rybaxel get the jobber entrance tonight. Ryback and Axel take turns beating on Jey. Ryback gets Jimmy up for the shellshock later but Jey gets a blind tag in. Jey superkicks Ryback, tags back out, and Jimmy lands a frog splash to wrap this one up.
Match rating: *. Forgettable but unoffensive. I liked the ending sequences.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto del Rio
WWE shows a highlight of Kofi leaping from the barrier to the ring from last night. It was a hell of a jump and a cool spot, much better than last year. Del Rio stiffs Kofi pretty hard with a kick to the face when he's in the corner and Kofi is charging in. Crowd is dead silent for this. It's a buzzkill when a crowd is so off. Del Rio and Kofi aren't over anywhere, but it's really pronounced tonight. Some of the crowd starts to chant "JBL." They pop big when JBL sits up and del Rio screams "sit your ass down!" at him. Del Rio looked legitimately pissed.
The crowd's finally making noise, but it's for Lawler now. The match itself is a dull affair that I'm having a hard time pay attention to. The crowd finally gets behind Kofi as he goes on a run. Del Rio tries to walk out of the ring but Kofi catches him and hits an SOS. ADR gets his foot on the rope just in time to break the three count.
Del Rio wins with his sidekick to a kneeling Kofi.
Match rating: DUD. Long and boring.
WWE Tag Team Championship - New Age Outlaws (C) vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Road Dogg with a promo before the match. This I can do without. And it just keeps going. Dogg and Gunn saying they shouldn't have to defend their titles tonight. Goldust continues to be a damn fine worker, the best in the match, as he starts us off against Billy Gunn.
NAO acting like they're in over their heads. Not just that, but they act like they're afraid of the Rhodes brothers. Road Dogg's channeling Markus Crane tonight. JBL's doing that thing where he argues with everything Cole says. It's brutal.
Gunn's in control of Goldust when we get back from break. A Goldust powerslam changes that. Both guys are down but Goldust is a lot further from his corner. Goldust'll hit a code red before he gets the hot tag to Cody. Without any warning, we get Brock Lesnar coming down. He F5s Cody. The New Age Outlaws make a run for it while Brock F5s Goldust.
Match rating: About a *1/2 effort.
Paul says the choice we're getting is Brock Lesnar versus no one. What happens when Brock Lesnar does not get what he wants? He beats the hell out of people with a chair. He breaks the damn thing from hitting the Rhodes so hard. This is a scary guy. Of course Cleveland is dead silent.
Bella Twins and Funkadactyls vs. Aksana, Tamina, AJ Lee, and Alicia Fox
Brie annoys the hell out of me in the ring. She's actually become a pretty good worker, but I can't stand how loud she is. I guess when you're a vet you get to make that call. Aksana completely whiffs on an elbow drop. She does it again, but the second one was on purpose. Cole puts Nikki's shin injury over as super serious.
The divas take a spot from WrestleKingdom 8 (and nowhere else ever). No doubt they were up at 5AM scouting some moves. Naomi flattens AJ with her rear end to mercifully end this.
Match rating: 1/2*
Jerry Lawler's in the ring to announce the next WWE Hall of Famer. It's Jake the Snake! No Rumble appearance, but he gets this.
Next is another WWE Network promo. This time it's about Wrestlemania Rewind. They're pushing the network pretty hard, which I get. Meltzer's mentioned that they have a lot of stuff in the can for the network and given how Bryan had short hear and a close-trimmed beard there's no doubt about that.
John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield
And we've finally got some noise from the WWE crowd as the main event starts. It starts out with Cena and Ambrose, but Rollins tags in soon. Cena bests him in a short exchange and now it's Reign's turn. Lots of quick tags and short exchanges to start the match. Looks like they want everyone to interact a little.
Sheamus lets Bryan tag in and the crowd goes wild for his kicks. Cena gets a lot of noise when he's back in there, eliciting the "Let's go Cena! Cena sucks!" duel. Roman lays Cena out with a superman punch but refuses to go for the pin. Instead he waits for Cena to get up and tries to spear him, but Cena eveades it and Reigns dives outside. He hurt his leg on the fall, but manages to cut Cena off before he can tag someone in.
Ambrose put Cena down with a hard DDT. Ambrose has an absolutely insane look on his face afterwards. Cena springs up and AAs Ambrose out of nowhere, because who needs selling? Cena gets the hot tag to Bryan and Bryan is cleaning house on the Shield. Reigns gets the spear on Sheamus and a second one on Cena (who took it poorly). Bryan knocks Reigns out of the ring and Rollins suprises Bryan with a roll up that's only good for two.
Rollins buckle bombs Bryan but again only gets two. He needed a spinning sit out powerbomb to finish the job. Bryan and Rollins are tearing it up in there. Rollins again goes for a roll up but Bryan twists out of it and gets on the yes lock. Ambrose breaks up the pin and Sheamus brogue kicks him out of nowhere. The match picked up in a big, big way.
Cena' outside and waiting for a tag. Bryan gets to him and it's Cena vs. Reigns now. Cena trips Reigns and gets the STF. Reigns pulls Cena's arms apart to get out of the hold when the Wyatts make their ambush. They're attacking Cena, but Sheamus and Bryan make the save. Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, and Cena win via DQ and they're going to be in the elimination chamber.
Match rating: ***1/2. A proper finish would've put this in the ****+ range in my book.
Final thoughts
A good opening segment and first match bookend a boring Raw in tandem with the closing match. Disappointed at the finish of the match, especially because of the stipulation attached, but the ring work was on.
Show starts with some photos from last night's matches. Stephanie and Triple H are out. They even get the first Wrestlemania sign point of the night. Crowd chanting "Yes!" immediately when Stephanie starts to talk. Triple is taunting the crowd for being upset that they didn't get what they wanted.
Big announcement: Orton has to defend his title in the Elimination Chamber. Before anything else can be said, out comes Daniel Bryan. The crowd is going nuts. Daniel Bryan tells the crowd to not "Yes!" or chant is name because it makes the authority mad. Bryan says that the biggest disappointment last night was not being in the Rumble. WWE knew the crowd was going to be behind Bryan in full effect and tailored the opening for that.
Bryan wants in the Elimination Chamber match, of course. He's standing right up to Triple H to get what he wants. Triple H won't be the only one he has to stand up to as the Shield are coming out on cue. Bryan grabs a chair to fend them off, but he can't keep all three away. Sheamus' music hits and he runs down to the ring. Cena's out next to make it three-on-tree. Six man with these guys tonight? Yes, please.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. & Sin Cara vs. Real Americans
Announcers let us know that all six men from the brawl will be in an Elimination Chamber qualifier. Zeb out with a mic for the Real Americans' opening. Cesaro and Rey start in the ring and it's everything I dreamed it to be for the 10 seconds it lasts. Jack gets tossed outside of the ring at one point and Zeb starts to berate him. He slaps Jack and Swagger wants to get at Zeb for a second, but Cesaro holds him back. Swagger's got a new fire once he gets back in the ring. Him and Zeb are yelling at each other as we go to break.
The cameras keep showing Zeb on the outside. He's yelling at Cesaro when he gets dumped to the outside, though it's inaudible. Cesaro does an unexpectedly poor job getting set up for the six one night, but the match doesn't end there, luckily. Sin Cara springboards off the ropes and eats a big European uppercut. Cesaro hits the neutralizer and this one is over.
Match rating: **1/2
Cole clarifies that it is a six man tonight and the winning team gets all three members in the Elimination Chamber. There's also going to be a New Age Outlaws vs. Rhodes Brothers rematch tonight.
Bad News Barrett out to deliver us some uhh... bad news. He's actually getting a bit of heat too. Barrett announces Miz vs. Ziggler in the "battle of Cleveland."
Sneak peek of some WWE Network content. Its' a clip of Monday Night War: WWE vs. WCW.
Fandago entering with Summer Rae. The crowd's a lot less into him tonight than last night. And we're back to commercial in the middle of his entrance.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
A clean shaven Xavier Woods is on commentary. Emma is down at ringside with her sign, so the build for her debut continues. Woods is talking about his PhD while JBL puts East Carolina over as the Harvard of the south. Har har, wonder who went there. R-Truth wins an uneventful in-ring match.
Match rating: *
Brad Maddox in the ring to introduce our WWE World Heavyweight champion, Randy Orton. Orton wants to know whose idea it was to have him defend his championship in the Elimination Chamber. Batista interrupts him as he starts to rant about being the face of the WWE. The crowd's pretty dead.
Cleveland's chanting "Daniel Bryan" while Batista tries to talk. He's back to win the Royal Rumble, headline Wrestlemania, and walk out as champ. It's not personal who he faces; Dave's here for those goals. Big Dave finishes his spiel just in time for Brock Lesnar to interrupt. Him and Heyman come on down to the ring as Batista and Orton give him death glares.
Lesnar's patience is running thin. Maddox has two options: either make a match tonight between Orton and Brock Lesnar or put the number one contenders against each other. Batista vs. Brock. Paul Heyman likes both ideas, but he'll let the authority make the decision. Brock leaves without saying a word, just as it should be.
Battle of Cleveland - The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
How will the WWE make both of these guys lose? Crowd's making some noise for their hometown heroes while the announcers rip on Cleveland and Ohio. Miz locks on his figure four and Dolph is screaming like it's the most painful thing ever. He's taking big bites of the scenery right now. JBL and Cole are BURYING Cleveland. Ziggler zigzags Miz for a win. No ambush or home town embarrassment for Ziggler, surprisingly.
Match rating: *
Rybaxel vs. The Usos
Rybaxel get the jobber entrance tonight. Ryback and Axel take turns beating on Jey. Ryback gets Jimmy up for the shellshock later but Jey gets a blind tag in. Jey superkicks Ryback, tags back out, and Jimmy lands a frog splash to wrap this one up.
Match rating: *. Forgettable but unoffensive. I liked the ending sequences.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto del Rio
WWE shows a highlight of Kofi leaping from the barrier to the ring from last night. It was a hell of a jump and a cool spot, much better than last year. Del Rio stiffs Kofi pretty hard with a kick to the face when he's in the corner and Kofi is charging in. Crowd is dead silent for this. It's a buzzkill when a crowd is so off. Del Rio and Kofi aren't over anywhere, but it's really pronounced tonight. Some of the crowd starts to chant "JBL." They pop big when JBL sits up and del Rio screams "sit your ass down!" at him. Del Rio looked legitimately pissed.
The crowd's finally making noise, but it's for Lawler now. The match itself is a dull affair that I'm having a hard time pay attention to. The crowd finally gets behind Kofi as he goes on a run. Del Rio tries to walk out of the ring but Kofi catches him and hits an SOS. ADR gets his foot on the rope just in time to break the three count.
Del Rio wins with his sidekick to a kneeling Kofi.
Match rating: DUD. Long and boring.
WWE Tag Team Championship - New Age Outlaws (C) vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Road Dogg with a promo before the match. This I can do without. And it just keeps going. Dogg and Gunn saying they shouldn't have to defend their titles tonight. Goldust continues to be a damn fine worker, the best in the match, as he starts us off against Billy Gunn.
NAO acting like they're in over their heads. Not just that, but they act like they're afraid of the Rhodes brothers. Road Dogg's channeling Markus Crane tonight. JBL's doing that thing where he argues with everything Cole says. It's brutal.
Gunn's in control of Goldust when we get back from break. A Goldust powerslam changes that. Both guys are down but Goldust is a lot further from his corner. Goldust'll hit a code red before he gets the hot tag to Cody. Without any warning, we get Brock Lesnar coming down. He F5s Cody. The New Age Outlaws make a run for it while Brock F5s Goldust.
Match rating: About a *1/2 effort.
Paul says the choice we're getting is Brock Lesnar versus no one. What happens when Brock Lesnar does not get what he wants? He beats the hell out of people with a chair. He breaks the damn thing from hitting the Rhodes so hard. This is a scary guy. Of course Cleveland is dead silent.
Bella Twins and Funkadactyls vs. Aksana, Tamina, AJ Lee, and Alicia Fox
Brie annoys the hell out of me in the ring. She's actually become a pretty good worker, but I can't stand how loud she is. I guess when you're a vet you get to make that call. Aksana completely whiffs on an elbow drop. She does it again, but the second one was on purpose. Cole puts Nikki's shin injury over as super serious.
The divas take a spot from WrestleKingdom 8 (and nowhere else ever). No doubt they were up at 5AM scouting some moves. Naomi flattens AJ with her rear end to mercifully end this.
Match rating: 1/2*
Jerry Lawler's in the ring to announce the next WWE Hall of Famer. It's Jake the Snake! No Rumble appearance, but he gets this.
Next is another WWE Network promo. This time it's about Wrestlemania Rewind. They're pushing the network pretty hard, which I get. Meltzer's mentioned that they have a lot of stuff in the can for the network and given how Bryan had short hear and a close-trimmed beard there's no doubt about that.
John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield
And we've finally got some noise from the WWE crowd as the main event starts. It starts out with Cena and Ambrose, but Rollins tags in soon. Cena bests him in a short exchange and now it's Reign's turn. Lots of quick tags and short exchanges to start the match. Looks like they want everyone to interact a little.
Sheamus lets Bryan tag in and the crowd goes wild for his kicks. Cena gets a lot of noise when he's back in there, eliciting the "Let's go Cena! Cena sucks!" duel. Roman lays Cena out with a superman punch but refuses to go for the pin. Instead he waits for Cena to get up and tries to spear him, but Cena eveades it and Reigns dives outside. He hurt his leg on the fall, but manages to cut Cena off before he can tag someone in.
Ambrose put Cena down with a hard DDT. Ambrose has an absolutely insane look on his face afterwards. Cena springs up and AAs Ambrose out of nowhere, because who needs selling? Cena gets the hot tag to Bryan and Bryan is cleaning house on the Shield. Reigns gets the spear on Sheamus and a second one on Cena (who took it poorly). Bryan knocks Reigns out of the ring and Rollins suprises Bryan with a roll up that's only good for two.
Rollins buckle bombs Bryan but again only gets two. He needed a spinning sit out powerbomb to finish the job. Bryan and Rollins are tearing it up in there. Rollins again goes for a roll up but Bryan twists out of it and gets on the yes lock. Ambrose breaks up the pin and Sheamus brogue kicks him out of nowhere. The match picked up in a big, big way.
Cena' outside and waiting for a tag. Bryan gets to him and it's Cena vs. Reigns now. Cena trips Reigns and gets the STF. Reigns pulls Cena's arms apart to get out of the hold when the Wyatts make their ambush. They're attacking Cena, but Sheamus and Bryan make the save. Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, and Cena win via DQ and they're going to be in the elimination chamber.
Match rating: ***1/2. A proper finish would've put this in the ****+ range in my book.
Final thoughts
A good opening segment and first match bookend a boring Raw in tandem with the closing match. Disappointed at the finish of the match, especially because of the stipulation attached, but the ring work was on.
Jan 20, 2014
WWE RAW 1/20/2014 Show Review
RAW opens with a MLK Jr. tribute. First live segment is Triple H and Stephanie McMahon in the ring. Horrible flashbacks of my mid-2000s fandom. I'm never a fan of seeing them in the ring to start. WWE doesn't waste any time with hyping Batista's return, but Orton interrupts. These three have a weird dynamic and I'm still not sure who I'm supposed to like. This devolves into another long-winded Triple H promo. At least Orton shows some emotion.
Batista makes his return wearing a glorious track jacket and gym shoes combo. Looks like a lot of guys on north Milwaukee, except jacked to the gills. He stayed in good shape, no doubt about that. The crowd pops and Batista's return feels like a big moment. He kissed the ring mat, a nice touch to show that he really is interested in being here. Not much else to it, he's going for Randy's titles.
Rhodes Brothers & Big E Langston vs. The Shield
Six man tag to start off the in-ring action tonight. Rhodes brothers and Big E against the Shield. Interested in seeing how Big E does, but a match like this will be a great chance to hide any flaws. Everyone knows how quality these six mans have been all year long. It's a good match to start and the real shining moment before the first break is Cody's springboard to the outside to take out Rollins.
Cody continues in the ring after the break but manages to get a hot tag to Big E after Goldust was out of action. The Shield are cycling through the ring, taking turns receiving a beating. Big E tosses Rollins out and a returning Goldust hits him with a running senton off the apron. The match hits a frantic rate at this point. Big E over head belly-to-belly throws Ambrose. Reigns hits Cody with a superman punch as Cody tries to disaster kick him. Reigns gets to hit a spear on Goldust too. The match ends with Rollins stomping Big E's head right into the mat for the finish.
Match moved too fast to give it a proper play-by-play, but it was a smooth, well-executed stretch to end up there. I expect nothing less from five of those guys and Big E did well.
Match rating: ***
Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt video next, highlighting last week's finale.
Daniel Bryan already in the ring, or on the outside of the corner on the ropes, and he's ready to "break his silence." I guess that's WWE lexicon for exposition. Bryan's still not an ace on the mic, but he's passionate enough and so over that it really makes no difference. Bryan explains that he has to break Bray down mentally on top of physically. He exposed Bray and wants to do it again at the Rumble. Harper and Rowan will be in the Rumble, but Daniel wants Bray one-on-on. "YES!" chants fill the arena until the lights cut out and Bray shows up on screen.
Bray says being a traitor is the highest order of sin. He's not exposed, Bryan is, and he's a coward. Bray's obviously a strong promo and he's so much better when he's in a story, rather than being purposefully cryptic.
Fandango vs. Xavier Woods
Truth on commentary. Fandango and Woods have very similar colored gear on. Woods is all energy in there and Fandango is bumping hard to start the match. The crowd is dead. Match ends before I can say another sentence. Fandango wins with his leg drop finish. More importantly, Emma is in the crowd. #EMMATAINING.
Rating: *. It was about two spots. Nothing to say.
Brad and Kane are in the back, but Steph comes in to berate Kane for choke slamming CM Punk last week. Kane has to live by corporate rules now. She wants him to apologize to Punk.
Kane's coming out to the ring after the commercial break. Punk follows to hear Kane's very official and rather backhanded apology. Love the way Punk holds the mic like a knife. Punk says he's sorry to, but for what, oh for the fist in the face that Kane just got. Brad has to come out and yell to get a handle on the situation. It's not Punk vs. Kane though, it's Punk vs. the New Age Outlaws.
CM Punk vs. Billy Gunn
Road Dogg lost a game of rock, paper, scissors, so he's going to go do some commentary. Punk's taking it to Billy Gunn to start the match, including outside. He goes up to Road Dogg, which gives Gunn a chance to jump him from behind and take control.
Punk's back in control after the commercial break until Gunn hits a backdrop out of a headlock. Punk goes for a GTS way too early and Gunn pushes Punk to the ropes so he can land a dropkick on the rebound. Father time hasn't been kind to Billy Gunn's hair, he looks like a bleached Bozo the Clown as his hair fans out. Punk feigsn a dive to get at Gunn after he rolled out of the ring, but instead he ambushes Road Dogg who was too busy chatting with JBL to notice. Punk ends up winning with the GTS as my computer bugs out and switches to French for some reason, but not that much else happened.
Kane and Brad came back out to announce that CM Punk is #1. It's in the Royal Rumble though, so it's not a compliment.
Match rating: *1/2. Nothing awful, nothing special, but at least it helps advance a story.
WWE hype package for the Royal Rumble up next, sharing some stats with us.
Mae Young gets a bit of on air discussion. Lawler gives a nice little eulogy and a video package came after as a tribute. It's all WWE stuff of course, but it's well put together.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Alberto del Rio
This feud will go on. I must have missed the best-of-seven announcement.
Del Rio almost does the Chris Hamrick bump early on. He grabs on to the top rope though and Rey kicks him off. Rey hits an asai moonsault to take this outside. Del Rio gains the advantageous when he gets dirty or vicious, including some really stiff kicks to poor rey. Del Rio throws in some pec flexing for good measure, but he's no Luger.
Del Rio puts Rey face first in the corner and hits an enzuigiri. He chokes Rey with his boot and throws him out of the ring again. That's about the fourth time someone has left the ring already. Del Rio has Rey in teh tree of woe after trying to pull of his mask and follows up with some shots to the gut. The two are outside again but Del Rio drags Rey. He hauls him into the corner and uses the ring post as a fulcrum to stretch Rey across. Rey show's some ight with a few punches but del Rio moves out of the way when Rey tries a spear in the corner.
Crowd is dead, but it's been a solid match so far. Del Rio tries his own spear in the corner, only this time Rey gets out of the way. Both guys are nursing bad shoulders. Rey flings himself into Del Rio as Del Rio gets on his feet and the two are struggling to get up. Rey will end up landing a hard kick to del Rio, the kind that Del Rio might finish him with, but it's only good for two. Rey tries a 619 but Del Rio catches him. Rey'll kick out of a Del Rio side kick. Rey hits a 619 on a second attempt, drops the dime, and gets the 1-2-nope. Del Rio grabs the rope and the crowd finally sounds in to it.
Del Rio blocks another bit of Rey's high flying and then locks in the cross armbreaker. Rey taps without hesitation.
Match rating: **3/4. Good match, good story, sudden finish. They did build to it by working the shoulder, but it was a bit rushed. Rey's selling was excellent the entire time and Rey's still one of the best on the roster even if he's not able to move like he once was. The crowd being dead for most of it didn't help.
Batista's music cuts off Del Rio's and the two have a show down in the middle of the ring. Batista's jacked, but Del Rio is the taller guy, actually. Del Rio tries a sucker punch but Batista slips it and hits a spine buster. He's getting fired up as he shakes the rope. Batista power bombs Del Rio to lay him out and to let Batista have another big moment tonight.
Big Show and Brock, face-to-face. Show's doing a brutal Heyman impersonation, but he wants Brock to get out here if he has something to say. Heyman's out first but Brock comes out without a single word, just some of Heyman's great facials. Brock never gets in the ring though, he laughs at Show instead and walks to the back. Big Show wants him in the ring. Brock looks disinterested, but he'll stroll on in.
Show is huge, obviously, but Lesnar doesn't look small. Brock tries to ambush Show with a double leg takedown but show tosses him away. Lesnar bumps like crazy again, just like their first confrontation. He takes an even crazier bump when Show throws him over the ropes. No words, plenty of anger. Brock even whips a monitor into the ring at Show. Brock and Heyman walk away again, leaving us waiting for Sunday.
AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka vs. The Funkadactyls
Rematch of last week, which I candidly do not remember. Obvious commentary about the state of WWE women's wrestling aside, the match gets going with Tamina and AJ getting the heat on Ariane. Her idea of selling to yell a lot. A lot. She gets the tag to Naomi who lands one dropkick, but Tamina gets right back up and floors her with a big boot. AJ dances around and Naomi grabs her, rolls her up, and gets the pin.
Match rating: 1/2*. No worse than the Woods/Fandango match really, except for the awful yelling. Another nothing match.
More Royal Rumble hype. I don't mind at all, I'll never bash the WWE's video editing capabilities.
Commercials on RAW continue to gather go away heat with me. They're as bad as the NFL's. Thank heaven for mute.
Another Royal Rumble hype video after the commercial break. More stats this time. It had Kane stats and highlights this time, including several unprotected head shots from old matches. Surprised that they went with those.
More video packages! This time it's for Martin Luther King, Jr day and similar to the opening one, but longer
Usos vs. Erik Rowan and Luke Harper
The Wyatt's teleport to ringside and this match is underway. They're brawling in there, not that I can see any of these four exchanging holds, plus the Usos get to mix in some of their flying. Rowan messes up face-palming Jey Uso. He was supposed to go over the top rope, but he either didn't push hard enough or Jey was too low.
Rowan's using a head crusher move, pressing his fists against the side of Jimmy Uso's head. Jimmy's kept far away from his brother while the Wyatts take turns beating on him. Jimmy tries to go to the top rope but Harper shoves him outside. A follow up would be nice, but it's commercial break time so they're going to stand around in the ring instead.
Bray gets on the mic to incite the crowd while his boys continue the assault on Jimmy Uso. He says that Bryan is going to get a beating like this. Jimmy tries to go to the top again and this time manages to corkscrew into Harper. He gets over to his brother for the hot tag. The crowd doesn't care much and Jey isn't moving too quick either. Harper kills their moment in a few moments.
The crowd finally picks up, but not for the Usos. Daniel Bryan jumps Bray from behind, high kicks Rowan, and distracts Harper. Jey school boys Harper for the win and the crowd starts to chants YES! for Bryan.
Match Rating: *1/2. Slow match, the hot tag left a lot to be desired, and the dead crowd didn't help.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
It's a rematch from last week's match to end the night tonight. These two don't waste any time as they roll around and slug at each other. Good start here to carry over from last week. Orton's mad and wants revenge, Kofi wants to prove his win wasn't just a fluke.
Kofi hits his SOS out of nowhere to go back to the well a second time. Orton kicks out and gives Kofi a stiff forearm shiver. Somehow the camera knows to cut to the back before anything is going on, but luckily John Cena shows up at that very moment. He sprints down to the ring and starts his attack on Orton.
Match rating: None. It was a good start, but we don't get a finish.
Orton's trying to run away from Cena as Cena is getting revenge for his dad. They fight up into the crowd and make their way up the entire lower bowl until they're in a luxury suite. Orton makes a run for it, escapes the building, and hijacks some mom's car. Cena doesn't know that to do now, but at least lots of fans are getting a high five. The crowd loves Cena, but they're nowhere near as loud as they were for Bryan.
Show rating: **1/2 stars. The last hour really dragged and another cold crowd didn't help. They at least made some noise when Bryan was around, but that was about it. Batista got a nice pop, but nowhere near as big as Bryan's. Not a thrilling episode, but I'm not complaining either.
Batista makes his return wearing a glorious track jacket and gym shoes combo. Looks like a lot of guys on north Milwaukee, except jacked to the gills. He stayed in good shape, no doubt about that. The crowd pops and Batista's return feels like a big moment. He kissed the ring mat, a nice touch to show that he really is interested in being here. Not much else to it, he's going for Randy's titles.
Rhodes Brothers & Big E Langston vs. The Shield
Six man tag to start off the in-ring action tonight. Rhodes brothers and Big E against the Shield. Interested in seeing how Big E does, but a match like this will be a great chance to hide any flaws. Everyone knows how quality these six mans have been all year long. It's a good match to start and the real shining moment before the first break is Cody's springboard to the outside to take out Rollins.
Cody continues in the ring after the break but manages to get a hot tag to Big E after Goldust was out of action. The Shield are cycling through the ring, taking turns receiving a beating. Big E tosses Rollins out and a returning Goldust hits him with a running senton off the apron. The match hits a frantic rate at this point. Big E over head belly-to-belly throws Ambrose. Reigns hits Cody with a superman punch as Cody tries to disaster kick him. Reigns gets to hit a spear on Goldust too. The match ends with Rollins stomping Big E's head right into the mat for the finish.
Match moved too fast to give it a proper play-by-play, but it was a smooth, well-executed stretch to end up there. I expect nothing less from five of those guys and Big E did well.
Match rating: ***
Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt video next, highlighting last week's finale.
Daniel Bryan already in the ring, or on the outside of the corner on the ropes, and he's ready to "break his silence." I guess that's WWE lexicon for exposition. Bryan's still not an ace on the mic, but he's passionate enough and so over that it really makes no difference. Bryan explains that he has to break Bray down mentally on top of physically. He exposed Bray and wants to do it again at the Rumble. Harper and Rowan will be in the Rumble, but Daniel wants Bray one-on-on. "YES!" chants fill the arena until the lights cut out and Bray shows up on screen.
Bray says being a traitor is the highest order of sin. He's not exposed, Bryan is, and he's a coward. Bray's obviously a strong promo and he's so much better when he's in a story, rather than being purposefully cryptic.
Fandango vs. Xavier Woods
Truth on commentary. Fandango and Woods have very similar colored gear on. Woods is all energy in there and Fandango is bumping hard to start the match. The crowd is dead. Match ends before I can say another sentence. Fandango wins with his leg drop finish. More importantly, Emma is in the crowd. #EMMATAINING.
Rating: *. It was about two spots. Nothing to say.
Brad and Kane are in the back, but Steph comes in to berate Kane for choke slamming CM Punk last week. Kane has to live by corporate rules now. She wants him to apologize to Punk.
Kane's coming out to the ring after the commercial break. Punk follows to hear Kane's very official and rather backhanded apology. Love the way Punk holds the mic like a knife. Punk says he's sorry to, but for what, oh for the fist in the face that Kane just got. Brad has to come out and yell to get a handle on the situation. It's not Punk vs. Kane though, it's Punk vs. the New Age Outlaws.
CM Punk vs. Billy Gunn
Road Dogg lost a game of rock, paper, scissors, so he's going to go do some commentary. Punk's taking it to Billy Gunn to start the match, including outside. He goes up to Road Dogg, which gives Gunn a chance to jump him from behind and take control.
Punk's back in control after the commercial break until Gunn hits a backdrop out of a headlock. Punk goes for a GTS way too early and Gunn pushes Punk to the ropes so he can land a dropkick on the rebound. Father time hasn't been kind to Billy Gunn's hair, he looks like a bleached Bozo the Clown as his hair fans out. Punk feigsn a dive to get at Gunn after he rolled out of the ring, but instead he ambushes Road Dogg who was too busy chatting with JBL to notice. Punk ends up winning with the GTS as my computer bugs out and switches to French for some reason, but not that much else happened.
Kane and Brad came back out to announce that CM Punk is #1. It's in the Royal Rumble though, so it's not a compliment.
Match rating: *1/2. Nothing awful, nothing special, but at least it helps advance a story.
WWE hype package for the Royal Rumble up next, sharing some stats with us.
Mae Young gets a bit of on air discussion. Lawler gives a nice little eulogy and a video package came after as a tribute. It's all WWE stuff of course, but it's well put together.
Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Alberto del Rio
This feud will go on. I must have missed the best-of-seven announcement.
Del Rio almost does the Chris Hamrick bump early on. He grabs on to the top rope though and Rey kicks him off. Rey hits an asai moonsault to take this outside. Del Rio gains the advantageous when he gets dirty or vicious, including some really stiff kicks to poor rey. Del Rio throws in some pec flexing for good measure, but he's no Luger.
Del Rio puts Rey face first in the corner and hits an enzuigiri. He chokes Rey with his boot and throws him out of the ring again. That's about the fourth time someone has left the ring already. Del Rio has Rey in teh tree of woe after trying to pull of his mask and follows up with some shots to the gut. The two are outside again but Del Rio drags Rey. He hauls him into the corner and uses the ring post as a fulcrum to stretch Rey across. Rey show's some ight with a few punches but del Rio moves out of the way when Rey tries a spear in the corner.
Crowd is dead, but it's been a solid match so far. Del Rio tries his own spear in the corner, only this time Rey gets out of the way. Both guys are nursing bad shoulders. Rey flings himself into Del Rio as Del Rio gets on his feet and the two are struggling to get up. Rey will end up landing a hard kick to del Rio, the kind that Del Rio might finish him with, but it's only good for two. Rey tries a 619 but Del Rio catches him. Rey'll kick out of a Del Rio side kick. Rey hits a 619 on a second attempt, drops the dime, and gets the 1-2-nope. Del Rio grabs the rope and the crowd finally sounds in to it.
Del Rio blocks another bit of Rey's high flying and then locks in the cross armbreaker. Rey taps without hesitation.
Match rating: **3/4. Good match, good story, sudden finish. They did build to it by working the shoulder, but it was a bit rushed. Rey's selling was excellent the entire time and Rey's still one of the best on the roster even if he's not able to move like he once was. The crowd being dead for most of it didn't help.
Batista's music cuts off Del Rio's and the two have a show down in the middle of the ring. Batista's jacked, but Del Rio is the taller guy, actually. Del Rio tries a sucker punch but Batista slips it and hits a spine buster. He's getting fired up as he shakes the rope. Batista power bombs Del Rio to lay him out and to let Batista have another big moment tonight.
Big Show and Brock, face-to-face. Show's doing a brutal Heyman impersonation, but he wants Brock to get out here if he has something to say. Heyman's out first but Brock comes out without a single word, just some of Heyman's great facials. Brock never gets in the ring though, he laughs at Show instead and walks to the back. Big Show wants him in the ring. Brock looks disinterested, but he'll stroll on in.
Show is huge, obviously, but Lesnar doesn't look small. Brock tries to ambush Show with a double leg takedown but show tosses him away. Lesnar bumps like crazy again, just like their first confrontation. He takes an even crazier bump when Show throws him over the ropes. No words, plenty of anger. Brock even whips a monitor into the ring at Show. Brock and Heyman walk away again, leaving us waiting for Sunday.
AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka vs. The Funkadactyls
Rematch of last week, which I candidly do not remember. Obvious commentary about the state of WWE women's wrestling aside, the match gets going with Tamina and AJ getting the heat on Ariane. Her idea of selling to yell a lot. A lot. She gets the tag to Naomi who lands one dropkick, but Tamina gets right back up and floors her with a big boot. AJ dances around and Naomi grabs her, rolls her up, and gets the pin.
Match rating: 1/2*. No worse than the Woods/Fandango match really, except for the awful yelling. Another nothing match.
More Royal Rumble hype. I don't mind at all, I'll never bash the WWE's video editing capabilities.
Commercials on RAW continue to gather go away heat with me. They're as bad as the NFL's. Thank heaven for mute.
Another Royal Rumble hype video after the commercial break. More stats this time. It had Kane stats and highlights this time, including several unprotected head shots from old matches. Surprised that they went with those.
More video packages! This time it's for Martin Luther King, Jr day and similar to the opening one, but longer
Usos vs. Erik Rowan and Luke Harper
The Wyatt's teleport to ringside and this match is underway. They're brawling in there, not that I can see any of these four exchanging holds, plus the Usos get to mix in some of their flying. Rowan messes up face-palming Jey Uso. He was supposed to go over the top rope, but he either didn't push hard enough or Jey was too low.
Rowan's using a head crusher move, pressing his fists against the side of Jimmy Uso's head. Jimmy's kept far away from his brother while the Wyatts take turns beating on him. Jimmy tries to go to the top rope but Harper shoves him outside. A follow up would be nice, but it's commercial break time so they're going to stand around in the ring instead.
Bray gets on the mic to incite the crowd while his boys continue the assault on Jimmy Uso. He says that Bryan is going to get a beating like this. Jimmy tries to go to the top again and this time manages to corkscrew into Harper. He gets over to his brother for the hot tag. The crowd doesn't care much and Jey isn't moving too quick either. Harper kills their moment in a few moments.
The crowd finally picks up, but not for the Usos. Daniel Bryan jumps Bray from behind, high kicks Rowan, and distracts Harper. Jey school boys Harper for the win and the crowd starts to chants YES! for Bryan.
Match Rating: *1/2. Slow match, the hot tag left a lot to be desired, and the dead crowd didn't help.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
It's a rematch from last week's match to end the night tonight. These two don't waste any time as they roll around and slug at each other. Good start here to carry over from last week. Orton's mad and wants revenge, Kofi wants to prove his win wasn't just a fluke.
Kofi hits his SOS out of nowhere to go back to the well a second time. Orton kicks out and gives Kofi a stiff forearm shiver. Somehow the camera knows to cut to the back before anything is going on, but luckily John Cena shows up at that very moment. He sprints down to the ring and starts his attack on Orton.
Match rating: None. It was a good start, but we don't get a finish.
Orton's trying to run away from Cena as Cena is getting revenge for his dad. They fight up into the crowd and make their way up the entire lower bowl until they're in a luxury suite. Orton makes a run for it, escapes the building, and hijacks some mom's car. Cena doesn't know that to do now, but at least lots of fans are getting a high five. The crowd loves Cena, but they're nowhere near as loud as they were for Bryan.
Show rating: **1/2 stars. The last hour really dragged and another cold crowd didn't help. They at least made some noise when Bryan was around, but that was about it. Batista got a nice pop, but nowhere near as big as Bryan's. Not a thrilling episode, but I'm not complaining either.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)